Sunday, 11 September 2022

Comfort my people: On the death of HM Queen Elizabeth

 Isaiah 40.1, 6-11. Luke 15.1-10

 

Comfort, O comfort my people, says your God. In these last few days, I have been very aware of how much we all need comfort at the moment - to comfort ourselves, to comfort one another, to be gentle at this time. Of course, it is the late Queen’s family whose grief is paramount and greatest, just as it would be for any family who are bereaved, but this is a bereavement which touches us all.  I have been doing a lot of listening since Thursday; listening to people’s stories about the Queen, their memories of her reign and, in some cases of the reign of her father and even grandfather too. But I have also been listening to stories of people’s own bereavements and sorrows, triggered by this very public death.

 

Bereavement is always complicated. Nearly thirty years of taking funerals has made that obvious to me. Every situation is different, every person is different, and our feelings may change from day to day, hour to hour, or even minute to minute. That’s just as true for this national bereavement. Everyone is affected, but each of us feels this death differently, and needs to grieve in our own way, at our own pace.

 

Over the last couple of days, I have been thinking hard about what we might need to change for our worship today – readings, prayers, music and so on. There are guidelines from the Church of England nationally, but there aren’t any hard and fast rules. One of the decisions I pondered was whether to include the National Anthem in today’s service, the new one of course – God save our gracious King... But whichever way I approached it, somehow, it felt too soon. I know that the moment the Queen died, Charles became King. That is the fact, but facts are one thing, and feelings are another, and it felt to me as if we needed a chance to say goodbye before we say hello, whatever the constitutional position is, which is why I’ve decided to leave that for another week, to allow this Sunday to be a moment to acknowledge what, and who, we’ve lost, before we look to the future and the new things that are coming.  

 

Losing and lostness loom large in today’s Gospel reading - so that was one thing I knew I wouldn’t need to change today. Jesus tells stories about a lost sheep and a lost coin, and how those who lost them felt. The word “bereavement” literally means to have something torn away – riven – from us.  When someone precious to us dies, we soon realise that a piece of the landscape of our lives is missing. We notice the empty chair, the silence where there should be a voice, the shoes that still hold the shape of the feet that once wore them.

 

We lose people in the present and future when they die, but we can also find we’ve lost their past too. We realise there are questions we never asked, and that we’ll never know the answers to now, knowledge that’s vanished with them. And though time may soften the sharp edges of grief, the gap can never be filled.

 

When someone dies, it’s often not just them who we feel we’ve lost either; there can also be a sense that we’ve lost ourselves too, at least for a while. We lose our role in their lives, our identity in relation to them, the things we used to do for them and with them. They don’t need our help anymore. In the case of the Queen’s death there is a sense of a whole era slipping away, out of our grasp. We don’t even quite know what to call ourselves. A week ago we were Elizabethans, but who are we now? The jury seems to be out on whether we are Carolines, Caroleans, Carolingians… Time will tell, though I do how we won’t just be Charlies…

 

“You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone” they say, and it’s true. Often we only realise how much something matters to us when we’ve lost it. 

 

As I said earlier, lostness is fundamental to the parables Jesus tells too; a lost sheep, a lost coin. But it is only the starting point of those stories. It’s what happens next which really matters in them, as the shepherd tirelessly searches for and finds the sheep, and the woman turns her house upside down until she discovers where that lost coin has rolled away to, and both of them celebrate joyfully because of it.

 

Why do they search so diligently? It’s because the sheep and the coin are of such great value to them that they know they can’t afford to write them off. We don’t search like that for things which don’t matter to us or are easily replaced. I have lots of pairs of cheap reading glasses, because I know I will never be able to remember where I left them, so I just have to trust that one or another pair will come to hand when I need them. But that one sheep matters to the shepherd. It’s unique. He’s even prepared to leave the others in the wilderness so he can go after it. And the coin the woman lost was probably part of her dowry, the money she brought into her marriage, which was the only thing, in Jewish law, that she owned independently, and was often a safety net to be kept in case her husband died or abandoned her.

 

“Which one of you wouldn’t do the same for something that really mattered to you?” asks Jesus. The context of the story is that he is being attacked by the Pharisees, religious experts who considered themselves to be the in-group, the favoured ones. They disapprove of the time and energy he’s giving to tax-collectors and sinners, marginalised people who were often written off, or simply not noticed.

 

Jesus’ reminds his critics what it feels like to love and treasure something or someone. “Think of something or someone you would go to the ends of the earth to find,” he’s saying “That’s how God feels about these people you despise, because that’s how God feels about everyone. They are of infinite value to him, just as you are.”

 

Ours is a God, says Jesus, to whom nothing and no one is lost. Ours is a God who holds together everything in heaven and on earth, saints and sinners, monarchs and commoners, the past, the present and the future, the things we knew were important and the things we didn’t give a second thought to until they were taken away from us. Ours is a God who will go to the ends of the earth to rescue us, whoever we are, who will “feed his flock like a shepherd, gather the lambs in his arms, and gently lead the mother sheep” who will recognise our need, come to us where we are and lead us home.

 

As we say goodbye to a much-loved monarch, letting her go into the arms of the God she served, and who inspired her service to us over her 70 year reign, we recognise that we are also saying goodbye to a whole era. We may be painfully aware of what we have lost. We may feel lost ourselves sometimes. But we are not lost to God, any more than our late Queen is. The God who found her and held her throughout her reign, and now holds her in the life and joy of heaven, also finds and holds us, wherever we are, and wherever we wander, and that is the comfort we really need. Amen

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